Guest Post: True Friendship Stands the Test of Time

I am one of those people that just HAS to have a definition for each type of relationship in my life, so it's no wonder that I have analyzed the degree of friendships surrounding me.  My conclusion is this:  I have many associates-people that I interact with frequently, but haven't necessarily built a strong relationship with-but only a few true friends-those who are consistently with me through my ups and downs, are supportive in whatever I do, and who tell me truly when I'm right or wrong.  These are relationships that I value most.


I've learned over the years that in order to foster true friendships, there are some basic rules that need to be followed.


1.  Be a woman of your word.  If you say that you will do something (come to a party, bring a dish, hang out, return a phone call), follow through on your commitment.  Following through on your word is a testament to your character.


2.  Be open and honest.  It’s hard to be a good, true friend when you’re constantly putting up a front.  Everyone has their issues, and one of the benefits of having wonderful friends is that you can share these with people who can relate and get some advice and honest feedback.  Not only that, but just having the ability to just get things off your chest is a blessing!


3.  Always be an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on.  No matter how big or small you may perceive your friend’s problems to be, listen to her—without distractions or criticism—and always show her that you are there for her.


We all have busy lives—with spouses, children, parents, siblings, jobs, church, community outreach, and many other obligations, finding time to spend with friends can be a challenge.  Challenging yes, but not impossible.  True friends understand the busy-ness of life, and even though you may not communicate every day, these relationships can still thrive.  

I’ve learned that it is not the quantity of your interactions with friends, but rather, the quality.  If you follow the basic rules of nurturing friendships, these relationships will undoubtedly stand the test of time.

About Today's Guest Blogger:  

Many thanks to today's guest blogger for taking the time to participate in Women's Friendship Month.  I've known Sharetha for about a year or so and she's quickly become part of my diva crew.  Please support one of her newest endeavors, Perfectly Imperphect, a website for women by women to inspire us to value ourselves in all walks of our lives and truly love ourselves and embrace our perfect imperphections.

Friendship: A to Z

A is for appreciative.
B is for broad-minded.
C is for caring.
D is for divatude.
E is for exciting.
F is for forgiving.
G is for genuine.
H is for helpful.
I is for intelligent.
J is for joking around.
K is for kind.
L is for loyal.
M is for meaningful talks.
N is for nice.
O is for open-minded.
P is for protective and prayerful.
Q is for quick-witted.
R is for reliable.
S is for sensitive.
T is for thoughtful and trustworthy.
U is for understanding and unselfish.
V is for vivacious.
W is for warm.
X is for "xtra" fun.
Y is for yours through thick and thin
Z is for zany


Be blessed Divas!!! Don't forget about our month-long contest and your chance to win $100 in Mary Kay products.

Guest Post: My Two Best Friends

Today's guest post is by another one of my favorite bloggers.  You can follow her blog, New Beginnings, where she shares a little bit about everything.  I love her openness and realness.  Cabrini was one of the first bloggers I connected with and she's motivated me in so many ways!  You can, also, follow her on Twitter (@Attorney2Be) where she will keep you motivated, inspired and entertained.  Thanks for sharing and being a part of my blog celebration!

I grew up with 4 older brothers and my father.  I was extremely close to my father and my brother, who is 13 months my senior.  I grew up in a house of men.  My mother was a social butterfly and her friends were more important.  She didn't have much time for me except when it was time to dress me up like a pretty little doll.  I believed my mother loved me, but I think her priorities were not in order.

My first born is my daughter.  Des’tene was born in 1990.  I always swore that when I had my daughter, we would have that mother/daughter bond.  We did.  My daughter is my best friend. She and I talk about everything. We laugh. We get angry at each other. We shop and hang out.  She is the relationship I always wanted and longed for with my mother.

Nine years later in 1999, my son Jordan was born.  He is a great kid and we have a really close bond. He is truly a mamma’s boy.  We also spend a lot of time together and we love each other tremendously.  God has blessed me with two wonderful children.

Times were hard when my son was born.  Child care fees were $600 per month and we just have the means to afford child care.  Funny thing was we made too much money for child care assistance.  My mom and I weren’t close so asking her leave California and take care of my son didn’t seem like an option. She wasn’t really the grandmother type.  I decided to pray on it.  God told me to ask.  I did and guess what, she relocated.

Jordan is 11 years old now and Des’tene is 20 years old.  While my mother does not live under the same roof as me, she is in the same state.  She decided that she wanted to be in her grand children’s lives full time. She has helped me raise my two children after my divorce and she and I have become extremely close.  

Des’tene no longer lives at home. She now lives in the same complex as her grandmother. My mother is handicapped and while it was too much for me to take care of her, Des’tene didn’t forget all that my mother did for us.  Naturally, I help out as much as I can and when I can. However with school and work it’s mostly nights and weekends.

The three of us are extremely close. Three generations.  I love my daughter and my mother to the fullest.  God answered all my prayers and healed us in ways I didn’t even know we were hurting.  

Guess who are my two best friends?  You guessed it! My mother and my daughter.

~~~Contest~~~Domestic Violence Project~~~

Hi Divas!!!

Welcome to the first contest of the month for Divas With A Purpose's International Women's Friendship Month Celebration.

Last month, I introduced you all to one of my newest blogger friend, T.C. Galltin and her Domestic Violence Project.  Please click on the link to read her blog regarding her inspiration for the project.

Domestic violence awareness is an issue near and dear to my heart.  I've met ladies that have suffered in silence and refused to leave for years at the hands of a spouse or significant other.  Domestic violence affects all cultures, races, sexes, religions, and regions.  It's a cycle that is often repeated when children see mom or dad being abused.  The children witnessing the abuse have a higher risk of repeating the behavior in their future relationships - either as the abuser or the victim.

What does this have to do with celebrating women's friendship, you ask? What better gift to give a friend then the support to leave an abusive relationship.  Instead of turning a blind eye, letting them know you are aware of the problem and getting them the resources necessary to remove themselves from a potentially deadly situation.

T.C.'s project is a very simple - yet powerful - one.  She's asking for 6 word "essays' on domestic violence.  You do not have to be a victim of domestic violence to participate.  This is something that anyone and everyone can participate in.

My contribution is: Friends don't just ignore it - REACT!

I'm asking as many people as possible to support T.C's project by submitting your own 6 word essay.  This contest will run throughout the entire month - ending at midnight (EST) on September 30th.  You will receive one entry for your own essay and another entry for each person you refer to this blog posting to post their own entry.  Simply leave your submission as a comment to this blog posting.  If you were referred to this blog by someone, please leave their name (or screen name) with your posting.

I'm personally sponsoring this contest and the winner will receive a $100 Mary Kay gift certificate from me.  The gift certificate is only redeemable through me directly.  The winner will be selected by October 7th via Random.org

Divas, please share this contest and this project with everyone that you know.  This is an issue in our communities that cannot be ignored!

Be Blessed, Divas!!!


***The contest has been extended until Friday, October 7th.  The winner will be selected on Saturday, October 8th.  Please keep in mind that I'm 37 weeks pregnant so there may be a delay in announcing the winner if I'm in the hospital at the close of the contest.***

Family Time

The relationship I have with my aunts has really evolved over the years, but I am so thankful for them. Yes, they have moments where they irritate the nothing out of me, but most family does that from time to time.  Since moving back to my home state 4 years ago, the bond that I have with the 4 aunts and 2 cousins that live here in the same city has really grown.  I always have someone to call on if I need to "escape" or vent.  My boys have cousins readily available to spend time with.  There's almost always a family event going on - birthday celebrations, just because celebrations, happy hours, girls night out, the list could go on and on.


I learned the spirit of "divatude" from my aunts.  From an early age, I can remember bonding parties where we'd dress up and have fashion shows.  Even now, we'll have a bargain shopping trip and have a fashion show in a heart beat!  You'll know if we're in your local Ross or TJMaxx because we'll take over a dressing room quickly.


During rough times in my marriage, they've been there to give me support and advice and lots of wine! They've shared their own experiences and helped me to adjust to being a full-time wife (anyone with a spouse in the military will know there's an adjustment when they get out!).


My mom and her aunts have always been close-knit.  Watching them growing up, it was obvious that they were each others closest friends.  They were my first interaction with adult women friendships.  During my adult years, I've been embraced in their circle and look forward to the time we all spend together.


I hope you all had a restful Labor Day! Be Blessed, Divas, and remember to pass on those blessings to someone else.

Beauty of Our Friendship

Friendship is a Priceless Gift
that cannot be bought or sold,
But its value is far greater
than a mountain made of Gold.

For gold is cold and lifeless,
it can neither see nor hear
And in the time of trouble
it is powerless to cheer--

it has no ears to listen
Nor heart to understand,
It cannot bring you comfort
or reach out a helping hand

So when you ask God for a gift
be thankful if HE sends
not diamonds, pearls or riches
But The Love of Real True Friends.
~~Helen Steiner Rice

The Joys of Friendship

I can honestly say I've been blessed with some awesome girlfriends in my life.  I, often, hear women complain about the lack of meaningful relationships with other women.  How hard it is to find and remain friends. I cannot fully relate to them at all.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the number of "friendships" that I have and find it difficult to maintain and communicate as well as I need to.

Let me be clear, it takes a lot for me to refer to someone as a "friend" - that's a very special and reserved term that I don't throw around very loosely.  With that in mind, my diva crew (my word for friend) is full of some truly awesome ladies.

My oldest friend and I have known each other for over 25 years! We're the longest relationship either one of us has had or will have.  We've had our "moments" through the years (what relationship doesn't have it's ups and downs), but we have definitely survived the test of time (and the adolescent years!).

I have friends that I relate to as a mother - they understand that I'm not going to be able to spend hours gabbing on the phone and appreciate a quick email or text saying "Hey, Just thinking about you!".  They know with a tween, a preschooler and a baby on the way - it took quite a bit to send just that.

I have friends that I relate to as a wife - they understand those "married moments" when I need to just vent about how "idiotic and insane" my husband is but understand that I love him to pieces.

I have friends that have known me since "way back in the day".  They know the struggles I've faced and conquered.  They grew up with me and have seen how I've matured and grown into the person I am today.

I have made friends within different organizations and groups that I belong to.  Our passions for different causes have given us a bond to help and support one another in any way that we can.

With these different, diverse women that are a part of my life - I often feel enveloped with love and support.  I feel as though I'm a pretty good friend and that's probably why I've been blessed with so many wonderful friendships over the years.

One thing I have learned (unfortunately, the hard way), is that there are times when friends have to come and go.  I'm sure many of you have heard the saying that there are people that come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  Being able to distinguish who is who and being able to let go when necessary is all part of maintaining healthy friendships.

So, Divas, here's my question for you:  How do you maintain the friendships you have with other women?  Do you feel it's a struggle or is it something that's never been an issue for you?

Be Blessed, Divas!

Welcome to International Women's Month

In 1999, Kappa Delta Sorority created National Women's Friendship Day to help women remember the important role that our women friends play in our lives.  Ten years later it was expanded to the entire month of September.


You can get more details about the history and purpose behind their cause on their website.


I came across the information recently and latched onto it because the diva friends I have in my life are absolutely priceless! I often hear how difficult it is for women to find friends or remain friends and, thankfully, that's not something I've struggled with.  I've been blessed with a wonderful circle of women that uplift, support and fill my world with laughter.  Yes, my immediate family does those things, but we all need an extension of our significant others and children.


Throughout the month of September, we will be spotlighting different facets of women's friendships from different points of view.  We will, also, have some fun with some contests and giveaways.

Here are some not-so subtle hints regarding some of the fun giveaways we'll have this month:

                                     


So, Divas, kick back and enjoy the next 30 days.  Join in the fun and share with your closest diva friends!  The more the merrier!!!