Who Am I?

Who am I? I sometimes ask myself that very question. After 30 years you would think that I knew the answer to that question.

I remember when one of my aunts was working on her Masters and she was writing her thesis. For her research she was speaking to people asking them "Who they were?". She asked me the question and I automatically responded with my name. She told me "Wrong answer. I didn't ask your name. I asked who you were as a person."

Well auntie, I have to agree to disagree. My name says alot about who am I. I've been asnswering to it for 3 decades. Anytime someone wants my attention or speaks or thinks about me, my name is mentioned. I see it everytime I pay for gas, groceries and clothing and use a check or credit card. It's at the end of my emails at work and at home. Can I go an entire day without speaking or hearing or seeing my name? I don't think so.

My name has a meaning that I hope to live up to. It means "one who is like the Lord". I would hope that for the most part I embody some of His characteristics. As a person, I am for the most part a kind-hearted and caring person. I try to be honest and trust-worthy. I love and care for my family and friends. But does that really answer the question of "who am I?"

I must admit I do have a mean streak at times. Who doesn't? My problem is that I suppress it and it has a tendency to eat at me. There were times when I wish I could really tell some folks how I really feel about them and / or a situation. But I may alienate some family and friends.

Who am I? I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm a sister. I'm a daughter. I'm a friend. I'm a worker.

Who am I?

I am me, myself, and I. Together the three of us are quite a team. We complement each other. I accept my short-fallings and embrace my strengths. Together we are striving to better ourselves so we can better our family. Together we're taking this thing called life one day at a time.

That's who I am.

1/25/2011 Gratitude List

1. $5.99 Old Timer's Tuesdays at Chili's
2. Extra Care Bucks Savings from CVS (and a CVS manager who knows my name)
3. Patience with my almost 3 year old who has become very independent
4. EBay
5. Bubble baths

Be Blessed, Divas, and be a blessing to others!
Michelle

Don't Just Survive...Thrive!!!

"God is too awesome for me to just survive, to just be mediocre, to just exist from day to day...I should and am thriving! He's been too good for us to be indifferent about the circumstances around us - find your passion and purpose and RUN with it!!!"

 I came across these words I wrote after my pastor's sermon back in August of last year.  The words impacted me in so many ways and can be related to so many situations in my life then and right now.

Too often we become complacent in a situation and get to a point where we are just there. Definitely a big NO-NO! God's plan for us is not to just survive but to continue to grow and thrive in Him! Whether it's spiritually, emotionally, education, etc. etc. etc. etc. A line from "House" comes to mind - a husband stated that he was just as much in love with his wife as the day he married her and the person he was speaking to rebutted with "That's the problem! You haven't grown at all in your relationship if that's the case. The more you learn about a person, the more you grow with a person - the more your love should grow and intensify." (For avid House fans, I'm sure I've expounded on the comment and that's not an exact quote!) The same is for other relationships and passions in our lives, the more we learn and grow in a situation the more our passion for it should increase. The more we live, the more we should thrive.

Being indifferent about what's going on around you is another symptom of just existing. In Revelations, God says because you are lukewarm - neither hot or cold - I'm going to spit you out of my mouth. Not having an opinion on something is the same as being lukewarm - you're neither for it or against it. The blessings that we've all received from God are too good for us not to have an opinion on the things that matter in our lives. Don't become complacent and let life pass you by. Pray for direction in finding your purpose in life and ask for God's guidance in fulfilling it. Live each day to the fullest and always remember to give God all the glory and the praise for bringing you to the point you are at and trust that He will take you even further and elevate you even higher.

Be Blessed, Divas, and be a blessing to someone else!

1/24/2011 Gratitude List

1. Facebook for reconnecting me with so many wonderful people from my past that I'd lost contact with.
2. Breakfast for dinner for nights when I'm just too tired and drained to cook and leftovers won't cut it.
3. Friends who can be totally upfront and honest with you...and still be considered a friend afterwards
4. Cake Day at work
5. Lazy, relaxing evenings on the couch with my loved ones.

Not Easily Broken

It’s very common for a person that is experiencing financial hardship to refer to themselves as being “broke” – meaning not having any money on hand.


Ever wonder where this terminology came from? Many banks in post-Renaissance Europe issued small, porcelain "borrower's tiles" to their creditworthy customers. Like credit cards, these tiles were imprinted with the owner's name, his credit limit, and the name of the bank. Each time the customer wanted to borrow money, he had to present the tile to the bank teller, who would compare the imprinted credit limit with how much the customer had already borrowed. If the borrower were past the limit, the teller "broke" the tile on the spot.

Those around me know that I truly dislike using “broke” to describe one’s financial situation. Fellow-blogger, Dietta, of Black Woman Rise, recently did a two part blog entitled “Become Prosperous by Seeing Past Being Broke” that caused me to really reflect on my disdain of the usage of “broke”. My response to the first part of her blog was:

“Those that know me well know that one word I truly despise is "broke" when referring to not having the financial means to do something. Brokenness brings upon a connotation that seems to speak not only to your financial situation, but to your emotional and spiritual well-being as well. Just because you do not have the financial means do something at a particular time, those of the Christian faith believe that God will provide. By relying on Him and claiming, not only financial, but spiritual wealth we can change our mental outlook towards having money in our pockets and bank accounts.”

This time about 4 years ago, my financial situation was terrible, to put it bluntly. I was pregnant with my second child, newly married, recently moved by the military with my new husband, fresh out an expensive custody battle with my oldest son’s father, and unemployed. Combine that with some terrible financial decisions in my early years, I was broke! My financial situation not only affected my spending habits, but my emotional and spiritual well-being. I attributed my well-being with my bank account. This is quite common in our society. Those with debt and financial problems often have more physical and mental ailments that affect their family lives, friendships and careers. I was definitely one of those people.

What changed my situation? My job offered Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It was definitely a life-changer. Not Dave Ramsey and his theories, specifically, but the first step in taking control of my life and viewing finances in a different light. I no longer let my financial status determine my level of happiness. I took some of Dave’s theories and practices and applied them to my finances. Along the way I tweaked them to fit what I wanted to accomplish. I, also, began reading other financial blogs, authors, and articles.

Four years later, I have paid off a huge majority of my debt, increased my credit score to the point where I can qualify for a home loan on my own if necessary, and have a real savings account and emergency fund. I’ve come so far not only in my financial portfolio, but in my emotional, physical and spiritual outlooks. I had to commit my plans to my higher power and ask Him to help me change my spending habits. I’m a black and white kind of girl, so I needed to see for myself the progress (or lack of progress at times) that I was making by using Excel spreadsheets. I had to sacrifice some things for a period of time – hair appointments, cable, lower cell phone plan, eating out. While it was tough, it was definitely worth it when I look at where I was, where I am, and what the future holds.

It was during that time period that I committed to no longer using “broke” to describe my financial situation. It’s a reminder that the amount of money I do or do not have does not control my life.

What about you, Divas? What financial sacrifices have you made? Any success stories you’d like to share?

Be Blessed, Divas, and remember to be a blessing to someone else!
Michelle


1/19/11 Gratitude List
1. Memories of past struggles
2. Overcoming obstacles
3. A husband who enjoys cooking
4. Unlimited texting plans
5. New projects and new challenges

Stagnant

I have to admit that I’ve gotten into a lull over the past couple of weeks with different projects that I am involved in. I know part of it is the grief process and another part of it is once I’ve slacked off on something I find it very hard to pick it back up with the same gusto and energy as before. I’ve struggled over the past few days with getting motivated to do everything from my blogging to preparing for work in the mornings.


I totally despise feeling this way, because it is very unprofessional and is the first steps to depression in other areas of my life. I’m asking for your prayers and positive thoughts as I fight through this. There are so many ideas running through my mind and so many things falling into place, so I know that what I’m trying to accomplish can definitely be made a reality.  My struggle is to come to terms with what I cannot change and use it to build myself up as a stronger individual.

My questions to you, Divas, is how do you over come stagnancy in your personal and professional lives? Do you have someone who is able to give you a swift kick of reality? Do you rely on prayer and meditation? I am pretty sure writing this blog is the first step in the right direction, but I could definitely use some extra tips.

Be blessed, Divas, and remember to be a blessing to someone else!

1/18/11 Gratitude List


1. My family
2. The “warmer” weather we’re experiencing on the East Coast
3. A sense of humor
4. The ability to smile on the outside even when I’m not on the inside
5. My faith


Michelle

Living Your Legacy

Recent events have caused me to do plenty of serious reflection on the path that I'm taking.  For those that are regular readers of mine, you'll know that I recently loss my uncle.  During the past week or so as my family prepared for his home going and traveled for his funeral and burial, I heard many stories and memories came to mind of my younger days when I spent more time with him.  While there is a great sadness and void within my family, most of us agree that there is very little regret for missed opportunities to spend time with each other.  One thing about that side of the family is that we seem to always be planning something.  Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, watching the grass grow (inside joke...), we will be there for and with one another.

At his funeral service, the minister said something that made me stop and say "whoa!".  I wrote the following quote down in regards to my uncle - he was "a living demonstration of the character of God".  If you knew him like his family and close friends did, you'd agree wholeheartedly.  What an awesome legacy to leave! Can you imagine living a life that caused someone to say those words when reflecting on your life and the impact you've made on others? Oh my goodness!!!

Have you ever stopped to think of the type of legacy you want to leave for your family and friends? Once you are gone, what would you like for them to say about you and the life you lived?  Are you living a life that balances your faith, family, friends, personal time and work?  What changes are you willing to make?

It's not about doing things to make a name for yourself.  Those that make the most impact are, often, those whose name no one knows.  It's doing something because you have a true passion and drive - not to receive accolades and attention.


My Gratitude List for Today

1. My husband and surprise gifts
2. Returning to work after 2 snow days
3. Hugs from my sons
4. The comfort of the Holy Spirit
5. Homemade gumbo

When it is all said and done, what would you like your loved ones to remember about you?  Be blessed, Divas, and be a blessing to others by committing to living your legacy in all you say and do.

January Love Drop

I recently became a part of, what I believe, is an awesome new organization that I'm hoping truly takes off and used as a pattern for others: 

Love Drop is a micro-giving network of people who unite as a community to help one person or family a month. By subscribing to the team for as low as $1, they make it easy for their members to change lives in a fun and tangible way. Each month Love Drop delivers a unique combination of unexpected financial gifts, personal encouragement and the support of local and online communities.

Every month the Love Drop community comes together to raise as much support and awareness as we possibly can. It starts on the website - LoveDrop.us, gets spread across our entire network of blogs, continues through the forums where all our members are brainstorming, and finally lands on the front steps of our recipients. Literally.



At the end of every month, the Love Drop team shows up in the town the people live in to deliver this pile of goodness. The money, the gifts, the services, everything! It's all on film, and it all ends with an amazing outpouring of love. And then it starts all over again the next month. Help them, and their flagship partner, Kona Grill, make this drop in Chicago amazing!

This month, we're helping out Jill in Chicago:

How can you help?

This project is all about coming up with creative and fun ways to make a difference for someone. Here's what you can do to make our first Love Drop special for Jill and her family:

***Join the team - Become a member by paying whatever you want. Even $1.00.

***Join our blogger network - Blog about our Love Drops once a month! It's easy, it's rewarding, and it REALLY helps spread the word (which in turn helps the families!). Love Drop will give you all the content you need.


***Give a gift or provide a service - Gift cards, household goods, football cards/jerseys for the boys, web design services, pampering gifts for Jill, etc. (email all ideas/questions to team (at) lovedrop.us, and we'll make it happen)
 
Divas, even if you aren't able to help out personally, please do me a favor and share this blog entry.  You can share it via Facebook, Twitter and email.  Be blessed and be a blessing to others!!!

Thankfulness

Today I'm sharing my 9 year old son's gratitude list for today:

1. My mom - of course that brought a smile to my heart :0)
2. My stepfather - anyone who is a part of a blended family will know being #2 on the list is not always an easy feat for the step-parent, but I'm thankful for the relationship between my husband and son.  They have the moments - but what parent-child relationship doesn't?
3. My Christmas gifts - the kid got royally spoiled between holiday visits to both sides of the family (including 3 sets of grandparents and a father who has been overseas for most of 2010) but he was very gracious and appreciative.  What makes this Christmas more special is that he only requested one big thing for Christmas in his letter to Santa - for his Daddy to come home safe from Iraq.  Thankfully, he was able to take leave during the Christmas holiday and make it back to the states in time to bring a smile to our son's face.
4. My uncle who recently passed away - this definitely made me tear up a bit
5. All of the soldiers serving our country (especially those deployed and away from their families) - he is definitely a military kid and this military wife is so proud that he understands the sacrifices that our soldiers make.

My gratitude list for 1/4/11:

1. My sons and their ability to warm my heart at the most unexpected moments
2. Random acts of kindnesses by strangers
3. Criminal Minds and Law & Order marathons
4. My mother who always seems to have the right words to say
5. Brief moments of solitude

I have to say that I am overwhelmed and so thankful for the outpouring of love and support my family has received during our time of bereavement (see my previous post, Heartbroken, for more details, if you'd like).  Words cannot express how thankful I am.

Be Blessed Divas and remember to be a blessing to others!
Michelle

Calling All Divas!

Divas With a Purpose (DWP) began as a call to action after numerous events in my life and those close to me. So often, there is a need and people willing to fulfill the need but nothing to organize them or connect them with one another. I truly believe in the village concept and that if I succeed, it is my duty to help someone else – just as other helped me along the way. I may not always have the answer, but I would like to think I have enough resources to lead you in the right direction.


My vision for DWP is to establish a network of women (DIVAs) that are committed to helping one another succeed – whether it be professionally, personally or spiritually. We’ve all been in a situation where we may have needed assistance and did not know who or where to go to. DWPs can be the first link in the chain.

What do the DIVAS of DWP consist of?


First she’s Driven. There has to be something within her that makes her want to succeed and help others to succeed. It may be a passion for volunteering, education, children, the list could go on and on. Overall, she wants to be positive and…

Inspiring! A DIVA is optimistic and has no room for negativity in her world. She inspires others with her daily walk and talk. She does not have to be a motivational or inspirational speaker or writer, but her day to day actions speak volumes to who and what she is. She has a…

Victorious attitude! She knows that she is capable of doing all things through Christ whom strengthens her! She spreads that attitude to those around her and encourages them to walk as though they’ve already succeed, talk as though they’ve already had a breakthrough, and act as though they are blessed beyond measure. She knows that having big plans and motivation is great but in order to truly succeed they must be able to put their plans into…

Action. Not only is a DWP great at making plans, she is able to get things done. She is able to network, delegate and get the job done herself if necessary!
 
Are you interested in becoming a part of the DWP network? If so, please reach out to me at divaswithpurpose@gmail.com
 
1/3/11 Gratitude List

1. A Saviour who provides peace and comfort. I may not always understand why He does what He does, but I have faith that He knows best and will equip me with what I need to deal and respond with His actions.
2. My extended family. They are the most loving and giving group of people that I know.
3. A husband who may not always know what to say or how to react, but is always standing by with a hug or two when I need one.
4. A busy work day to keep my mind occupied.
5. Friends who are there when I need them the most - physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Be blessed Divas and be a blessing to those around you!

Heartbroken

I loss someone very near and dear to me today. My uncle, who was 42 years young, passed away unexpectedly.  It is in times like these that you realize how precious life is and how much we take for granted.  We sometimes forget how quickly someone can slip away. There's little I can and will say right now.  I just ask that you pray for my family. Pray for his wife and 8 year old daughter.


Remember that life is precious and that we should cherish those that we have around us.  Remember to say I love you and I appreciate you.  Remember to kiss and hug them goodbye. Sometimes we have to just let old hurts and disappointments go, because in the end they just don't matter when the one you love is no longer hear in the physical.


I gave myself a challenge for 2011 and as hard as it is right now, I am going to stick with it.  My focus for the year is gratitude and each day I will reflect on what I am thankful for in my life and specifically list 5 things.

Today I am thankful for:

1. The gift of salvation. Knowing that there is a God and that he will comfort and protect us all. Knowing that there is an afterlife and my uncle is resting and at peace right now.
2. My family. We have our ups and downs but we're always there for one another to support, nurture, and love.
3. My friends.  I am blessed to have a small but loving circle of girlfriends who are like sisters to me.  They are there for me whenever, whatever and I truly am thankful for that.
4. The gift of laughter.  It truly does heal.
5. A warm and comfortable bed to lay my weary body in.  The ability to rejuvenate my body and my spirit as I face the coming days.

Be blessed Divas!!! My challenge to you is to reach out to a family member you may have lost touch with or parted ways with for whatever reason.  Life is too short and too precious.

New Year...New Challenges

Welcome to 2011!!! I am so excited about the things falling into motion for this new year. When I reflect on where I was emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically a year ago...WOW!!! It can be overwhelming.

Top 5 Things I'm Looking forward to in 2011

1. Divas With A Purpose, Incorporated's unveiling.  Details of this awesome organization will be coming very soon!
2. Purchasing my first home with my husband
3. Paying off at least 60% of my debt (not including our mortgage)
4. My oldest son's 10th birthday
5. My annual girl's trip with my mom, aunts and cousins

It's going to be a busy year and I'm ready for the challenges I will face, the friendships I will forge, and the victories I will celebrate.

Have a happy, blessed and prosperous New Year, Divas!!! Be blessed and, more importantly, be a blessing to someone.