If you talked to me 3 years ago, both my husband and I would agree that we were done, kaput, finished with childbearing. Between the two of us we had 3 bambinos - my bonus daughter and my two sons were definitely enough to keep us busy. Add to the fact that I do not have "fun" pregnancies - preterm risks, modified bed rests, weekly doctor visits for progesterone shots, acid reflux, the list could go on and on and on. Why, oh why, would I want to go through that again?
In September of last year, I found out I was pregnant. Which was a huge shock since I was on and had been on birth control for over 3 years. I experienced a roller coaster of emotions - most not so positive. Ten weeks into my pregnancy I had a miscarriage and was devastated. After seeing an extension of me in an ultrasound and listening to their heartbeat, I truly felt a loss. Many around me couldn't understand my feelings - heck, I couldn't understand my feelings. I just knew that I'd gotten attached to this being inside me. My family no longer felt complete. My biological clock went into overdrive and I had some serious discussions with God. My faith taught me to believe that God does not make mistakes and there is a purpose and reason behind the experiences He has us go through. My miscarriage taught me that we have to be very careful about our words and thoughts when God gives us a blessing that we may not be expecting or even want. In the end, God has a plan and knows what is best for us. Out of that experience, I learned how essential it is to speak and think positively because we never know what thoughts, feelings and actions we may be speaking into existence. I find myself striving to be more positive and encouraging in my thoughts, words and actions.
When I found out I was pregnant again, I didn't even tell my husband until I was 8 weeks along and then we didn't tell anyone else until I was out of my 1st trimester. Yes, the pregnancy was everything I expected and more, but I stayed positive (at least 97% of the time!) and could not imagine my world without this 8 pounds of love that demands (and receives) the attention of everyone in our household.
Be blessed, Divas, and remember the power of your words and thoughts in your daily walk!
Wow. What a powerful post! Before Maya, I had a miscarriage after telling the world that I didn't want that baby. I had grown attached to "him" while he was inside me though. Like you, I lost my baby and was devastated.
ReplyDeleteWhen Maya came along, even though I was going through homelessness, I didn't knock God's blessing. And she’s here and I love her to pieces.
Words ARE powerful. Thank you for this reminder and congratulations on your bundle of joy!!!
How oh how did I miss this response? Thank you, dear TC, for sharing your experience. God definitely has a way with timing, doesn't he? Blessings, my sister!
DeleteThis is so powerful and true. My husband and I experienced a miscarriage just over a year ago and can relate to the emotional roller coaster that happens. We were very excited about the possibility of another bundle, and although we lost one, we are still patiently waiting on God's timing for the next one. Thanks for sharing this journey! In our pain there is encouragement for others.
ReplyDelete~ Ferly
Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}
Thank you so much for sharing your experience Ferly! I've learned so much over the past few years about being patient in regards to God's timing. Blessings to you and yours!
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