My husband and I recently had the opportunity to work with two financial counselors and receive a plan to help us with our finances as part of The Money Fix sponsored by DailyWorth. If you're not familiar with DailyWorth, you are missing out! It's a financial website with tips and stories geared towards women. They discuss real life topics that apply to real women - from savings to investing to entrepreneurial ideas.
A little back story - my husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and never successfully combined our finances. Neither of us really knew what personal bills the other had and it often led to misunderstandings and, sadly, arguments over what needed to be paid or wasn't. We even got off to a very rocky start with The Money Fix with my husband missing one of our sessions. I was angry, disappointed and embarrassed. That opened the door to us having a very serious heart-to-heart and beginning to repair some of the communication issues we'd let simmer (and finally boil over) in our marriage.
My ah-ha! moment throughout this experience was when I realized I'd never really given my husband a chance to be successful with money in our relationship. I grew up in a household where my mom handled the finances and my father was not very responsible with money. Also, in my relationship with my oldest son's father, I left the finances to him and it left us in a very bad situation (foreclosed home and repossessed cars kind of bad!).
We're far from where we need to be, but we've finally laid the foundation to begin having open and honest conversations about our finances and getting on the same page.
What type of financial messages are you sending to your children with your actions? Do your children see just one parent handling the finances or is it a joint effort? Are conversations had about being budget savvy and saving with them? Are there any learned behaviors that have affected how you handle money as a couple?
My mom had a notebook where she wrote down her budget main bills got paid first then everything else falls in line. I am a saver I don't spend money I am so bad i won't even pay 15 bucks to get my daughters hair braided. My hubs on the other hand spends money he will forgo a bill for some new shoes or an outfit he loves looking good and to hell with the bills. I handle the money because if he did we would be on the streets.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, my parents weren't fully disclosing to each other about their finances either. When I ended up getting married, the last thing I wanted was shadows and closets when dealing with finances--I demanded transparency.
ReplyDeleteExplained my reasons from the very beginning that if he wants to be "in control" I want to see everything that is happening.
I hope that while I raise Zee that she can see that she doesn't have to fear having a say in the family finances, and not be afraid to speak up when she sees something's off.
It's so important to have control of your finances. I think the best thing we ever did when we first got married was to pay off all our credit cards!
ReplyDeleteHubby takes care of the bills. Not by choice, somehow it just ended up like that. I don't mind because our responsibilities are divided pretty equally.
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