Happy Resurrection Sunday! As I sit and reflect on the importance of what this weekend represent within my faith, I'm awed at the sacrifice and love that was made for me. I'm humbled, because quite often I know I don't behave in a way to justify any of it. I'm human with human flaws. I've got slight anger management issues - especially when it comes to someone being abused or unappreciated. Rarely do I get enough sleep these days. Between my 6 month old and 4 year old's weird sleep patterns, I'm lucky to close my eyes by midnight and am usually back up around 4 just to drift back off right before the alarm goes off and I start the snooze button war. I know that seriously affects my attitude and demeanor - I'm working on it. Most days.
This year I really wanted to focus more on my faith and finding a church that I felt comfortable in and my kids could enjoy to. I had that growing up and perhaps they set the standards too high for me? Or is it that the worship experience has changed drastically? Perhaps it's that I have changed drastically. I had a not-so-good experience with church leadership almost 7 years ago that keeps me on guard many times. My faith has not wavered but my participation and dedication to a church family has. Every time I think I have worked through it, those old feelings creep back up.
I know it's going to take some changes on my part and acceptance, but I'm determined to find a place of worship for my family. The corporate worship experience is something that I truly enjoy. Having my kids fellowship with other children and learning that faith can be fun is important to me.
Tomorrow will be 6 years to the day my grandmother passed away. I always equate her death to the Easter holiday weekend because we buried her the Saturday before Easter Sunday 6 years ago. While her death caused me some pain and lots of tears - it was because I didn't get a chance to say all the things I wanted to say while she was here. I know that she's free from hurt and pain. That's the type of security and faith that I want to instill in my children.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post hosted by all.things.fadra. It is 5 minutes of your time and a brain dump. If you'd like to try it...here are the rules:
~Set a timer and write for 5 minutes
~Write an intro if you'd like but don't edit the post. No spellchecking. No proofreading. Just raw writing.
~Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. Your back door to your blog, if you'd like, but make it accessible.
~Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post
~Link up your post at all.things.fadra
~Visit your fellow bloggers and show them some love
